This is the second project I finished in 2021. I started it in August and finished it last week. The pattern is called 'Hope' which I found very fitting for my situation. Yarn is Lion Brand Mandala in Pixie.
A very Happy New Year to everyone who is still reading this.
May the new year be peaceful and gentle and a lot kinder than the old one was.
I am not doing resolutions, but I have set some intentions for the new year:
- be kind to myself and take care of my body, mind and spirit
- make self care a priority
- be kind to the cats and to my house
- focus on the things that give me joy, my cats, my many craft projects
- and maybe do a spot of gardening again
Although the wounds and scars of my body are now healed I still need a lot of healing for all other aspects of my being. 2021 was brutal and violent for me and I need peace and quiet to heal my soul, mind and spirit.
My word for 2022: GENTLE
I was released from the hospital on April 22 and today, after more surgeries and painful procedures than I care to remember, I was declared physically healed. I cannot thank the nurses and doctors at the Plastic Surgery Clinic and the Burn and Plastic Surgery Ward at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center in Winston Salem, NC, enough for their excellent care. I will miss them.
Now that my physical wounds are healed it is time to focus on my mental and spiritual health. I started online grief counseling yesterday and I am getting back to doing the things that give me joy. There are three things I will focus on most in the coming months - myself, my cats and my house. And I hope to get back into gardening next spring. I am also making plans for the future with regards to finding a work from home job and doing some online courses to get there.
After my last surgery on June 23, I picked up my crochet hook for the first time since all this started and rather than working on one of my WIPs I decided to start something new. I made a meditation rug. With yarn held double and a 9 mm hook it was finished quickly. And yesterday I started a new blanket, the name of the pattern is 'FOR' and I named my blanket 'For Me - My Healing Blanket'. I am glad that I am able to read and understand a crochet pattern again, I really could not concentrate on much in the last 3 1/2 months.
I cannot really believe that it is over and I am feeling a lot of mixed emotions at the moment, but I know over time it will get easier. I have one more appointment at the clinic in 2 weeks and I plan to keep it to get my head wound checked one last time.
My meditation rug, Mr. Moose approved.
On March 29, 2021 my husband died suddenly from a heart attack while at work.
On the same day I was diagnosed with a rare form of skin cancer and I have been in the hospital since then. After 4 surgeries the cancer is gone but I have a long way of reconstructive treatment ahead of me which I will continue as an outpatient. The cancer was on my head (it develops around the root of the hair) which means that most of my scalp had to be removed and in the areas where they used a skin graft from my thigh I will never grow hair again.
Needless to say that my new circumstances frighten me but I am determined to get on with what I call Maria 2.0 - my new life. I have friends that will help me and support me and the future is not as bleak as it could be, but it will be very, very different.
And this is what I looked like after two long surgeries.